The ultrasound looking for cancer brought back vivid memories of other times I had lain on that table, looking at the images of Baby Huckle and Baby Sally growing in me. I found myself nonsensically scanning the screen for a beating heart, even though the probe was nowhere near my abdomen. And, obviously not seeing any beating heart, it struck me all over again why I was there. It was chilling, literally (you know what I mean if you've had one of those probes run across your naked flesh) and figuratively.
Oddly enough, the experiences have some things in common besides the technology used to image them. Both were experiences of heart-pounding anticipation and of having a secret inside me that would rock my world and the worlds of people who love me. Both were mysteriously growing inside me and using my metabolic energy to feed themselves.
And obviously that's where the differences end: one was a sweet baby, desired and already loved. The other was cancer, dreaded and detested.
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