Chariots of Fire

It's a Bible story about which you may have not given any thought since your Sunday school days. It's one of those great in-your-face-you-idol-worshipers! stories from the book of 2 Kings: God blinds the vengeful enemy army and Elisha leads them into the middle of the main Israelite city. When the confused soldiers' eyes are opened, they are not surrounded and killed by the Israelites (as they can planned to do to the Israelites) but they are wined and dined and sent on their merry (still confused) way.
That's the story we taught last Sunday to our very wiggly 1st grade class. It's a fun one to teach.

There is one part of the story that had come to my mind several times before preparing the lesson, and that's the part way at the beginning (pre-blinding) about Elisha's terrified servant, seeing the enemy army with their horses and chariots surrounding their city. A calm Elisha prays that God will open the servant's eyes, and suddenly the servant can see "the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."
Sometimes over the past few weeks I've felt like Elisha's servant. I've felt as if I've had my eyes opened to see beyond normality. I see purpose where others might only see meaninglessness or bad karma, I see a plan where others might think chaos reigns.
Last year was tough by any human's standards. But the life outcome of the pain was even better than the pre-pain life -- I was blessed beyond imagining -- and Lesson #1 was this: don't trust in others, trust only in God. Others may betray you, but God never will.
Cancer is a word that strikes fear in most people's hearts. But I feel as if my eyes have already been opened to Lesson #2: don't trust in yourself, trust only in God. Your body may betray you, but God never will.
It's a logical progression and beautiful plan. But it will be a tough lesson. I am used to being healthy and able and active and self-sufficient. My strong sense of self is what my friend Carolyn would call a 'stronghold' in my life. I need to find my identity in Christ, not in my body or my health or my feelings. And shaking my sense of self will be shaking my world to its fiery core. But I also see that God has gathered for me an amazing support network. The chariots of fire are in place.

And then sometimes I fall back into weakness and I think, why me? Why should I have so much pain and heartache and testing in rapid succession? Why can't I have my normal life back?

I'm a former athlete, a runner who found self-esteem and confidence in high school track and cross country. (Eh? You seeing the 2nd reason for calling this post 'Chariots of Fire'? Heh, heh, I think I'm pretty clever] Our coach did not push all his runners equally. He definitely pushed some harder than others. I remember being extremely annoyed that he sometimes made me run with the boys instead of letting me run with my friends, who would have made it much more fun instead of acting all awkward and doing all that spitting and sweating and putting on macho displays (nothing could be more insulting to a high school boy's masculinity than to make him run with a girl). But it was because my coach saw in me some undeveloped potential. He pushed me harder than others because he knew I could perform better than I was. And I hope that is God's purpose now in my life. I am honored that He is allowing these events to happen in my life because He sees undeveloped potential and He wants me to move beyond my current state to bring Him more glory. Lord, help me trust in you and persevere in the lessons you are teaching me. Help me use this opportunity to develop a heart more like Yours.