Graceful Friends

Some of the most important friendships in my life are less than a year old. Through the church my family attends and the Christian school my children attend, I have come into contact with some amazing Christian women and developed deep friendships with some of these fun, wise, caring individuals. And God's timing is perfect, because the past year has been one of the toughest in my life.

This past week, I had to get a breast biopsy. These kind women offered to come with me, but I -- weak in my self-sufficiency -- declined.

And then I wished I hadn't declined when the procedure was more involved and traumatic than anticipated.

Still, I didn't ask for help when I came home, even though I felt weak and nauseous when I got home and my husband was out of town and my children are young enough to need help with homework and supper and bedtime.

I thank God for staging a friend intervention! One friend insisted on coming over to help with bedtime. Then she came again in the morning to help get the kids off to school. Another friend drove them to school and picked them up. Dinner was brought to our family and more offers to childcare and accompaniment came.

It was truly overwhelming and humbling to be on the receiving end of so much kindness. I did nothing to deserve these women's kindness and love. At first, I felt indebted and ashamed of my needs. I like to stay 'in the black' when it comes to favors -- always offering, never asking. I like to feel that I have everything under control.

But then it struck me that these women's actions are a beautiful illustration of grace. We do nothing to deserve God's love and providence in our lives. And that's the whole point of grace -- freely given, never earned or deserved. My friends are so in tune with God that they are acting as His arms and legs and loving heart. And I need to get over my insolent self-sufficiency and accept grace graciously and humbly because I do not deserve it, not in spite of my not deserving it.

Today I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. I still know very little about the treatment pathway ahead of me, but my mother's fight with breast cancer is still fresh in my memory. All the same, it's comforting to know that God is on His throne and in control despite threats to my health and life. I dread the diagnosis and treatment and its effect on my family, but I also look forward to seeing how God will use this situation to draw me closer to Him. And I am grateful for His perfect timing, gathering godly friends around me to hug me with His arms and speak His words of comfort.