There's a desk in our family room with the family calendar, a drawer overflowing with office supplies, the answering machine with its sidekick post-it notepad, and a pile of field trip permission slips and other timely papers. It's the typical unorganized family organizational hub. It's the place we set things that need to be dealt with. And there's one spot on that desk where my daughter Sally sets her broken toys that need fixing -- usually just a craft that needs to be re-glued or a ribbon that needs untangling or a small toy that needs to be put back together. She shows me the toy and then puts it on the desk. She knows that if she puts it there, I will fix it. (Eventually and imperfectly -- they often stack up. And 'fixing' often means throwing something away that cannot be repaired or returning the toy in a fragile state and knowing it's going to end up on the desk again in a matter of days.)
Anyway, this spot for broken toys came to mind as an analogy this morning. There are so many people for whom I am praying urgently -- a broken marriage, a broken sense of peace, friends and family members struggling with despair and fears and loss. Even though I have had powerful experiences of God's healing, I often find myself feeling as if my prayers for these people aren't enough. I feel helpless to help them and desperately want to DO something and do it now.
I have to remind myself that praying on their behalf is helping in the most productive, powerful way possible. Yes, I should also be open to other ways of helping but should never underestimate prayer as the most effective way to help. I can't fix someone else's marriage or restore their peace or wipe away their fears. I can provide a listening ear, but only God can ultimately fix these. He cares for them more than I can, and His plan for them is better than my hopes on their behalf.
And so I saw my morning prayer as a time when I bring these broken things to God's attention. I leave them right there on his lap, the spot where He fixes what is broken. Unlike me, who fixes things eventually and imperfectly, God can do a perfect fix every time. Things end up better than they started when they are left in his care.
It would be like Sally handing me a stuffed animal cat with a torn ear and me handing her back a kitten.
Lord, please bless the people on my heart. Work in these situations to Your glory, and restore them to joy -- a joy more complete than that of a 6-year-old with a new kitten.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Lost Proverb 32: The Husband of Noble Character
The book of Proverbs ends with Proverbs 31, often titled 'The Wife of Noble Character'. Women have been known to complain that this sets the standard too high. Some explain that this is not a standard but a composite of all the noble traits women have, and others say the woman in the proverb is an analogy for wisdom.
This is a spoof on Proverbs 31, in honor of my husband. Obviously I'm not really trying to add to the Bible. I hope you can tell from previous posts how seriously I take the Bible.
A husband of noble character, who can find?
He is worth far more than an exquisitely furnished mansion on a tropical island.
His wife is full of confidence in him and lacks nothing of value (including a 30-foot yacht to reach said island).
He brings her good, never harm, all the days of his life.
He writes out a shopping list and 'eagerly' offers to pick up the groceries on his way home from work. He comes home like a semi truck laden with everything necessary to run the household (and some unnecessary things too, like those bright orange 'cheese doodles').
He gets up while it is still dark to exercise and read the Bible and pray. That is his thoughtful way to ensure that his wife doesn't have childcare duty during his personal time.
He considers major purchases carefully (like that big screen tv he had his eye on) and discusses them respectfully with his wife before buying, even though he IS the main breadwinner.
He works hard at his desk job and then works out to have strong arms.
He checks on the bank accounts and changes light bulbs around the house so his reading lamp does not go out at night (or, more correctly, he goes out before the lamp does).
His hands are busy texting his wife between meetings to remind her of his love (and check what groceries need fetching).
He is generous in his giving to the poor and is always ready to help a friend or stranger.
When it snows, he knows his family is safe (even though that skylight keeps leaking) and that every family member has brightly colored hats and mittens and coats (that they sometimes even wear inside since he's trying to keep the heating bills down).
He makes the bed when he was the last one out and buys his own clothes (like those brightly-colored striped socks and running shoes with toes).
His wife is considered blessed to have an attentive and respected husband. She goes out for a Mom's Night Out and realizes yet again how blessed she is.
He sews on missing buttons and helps his son sell Cub Scout popcorn.
He is clothed in strength and dignity (right down to those brightly-colored striped socks and running shoes with toes).
He makes people laugh.
But he also knows God's wisdom and speaks wise words. He is full of sound advice but also knows when to just listen.
He plays with the kids instead of playing video games.
His children run to meet him at the door when they hear his car in the driveway. Even his wife has been known to do this, and not just when she needs his listening ear after a rough day.
Many men are noble, but he is the one for me. Others chase charm and beauty, but my noble husband is a man after God's heart. He fears the Lord.
And so I praise him publicly. I love you, Husband!
This is a spoof on Proverbs 31, in honor of my husband. Obviously I'm not really trying to add to the Bible. I hope you can tell from previous posts how seriously I take the Bible.
A husband of noble character, who can find?
He is worth far more than an exquisitely furnished mansion on a tropical island.
His wife is full of confidence in him and lacks nothing of value (including a 30-foot yacht to reach said island).
He brings her good, never harm, all the days of his life.
He writes out a shopping list and 'eagerly' offers to pick up the groceries on his way home from work. He comes home like a semi truck laden with everything necessary to run the household (and some unnecessary things too, like those bright orange 'cheese doodles').
He gets up while it is still dark to exercise and read the Bible and pray. That is his thoughtful way to ensure that his wife doesn't have childcare duty during his personal time.
He considers major purchases carefully (like that big screen tv he had his eye on) and discusses them respectfully with his wife before buying, even though he IS the main breadwinner.
He works hard at his desk job and then works out to have strong arms.
He checks on the bank accounts and changes light bulbs around the house so his reading lamp does not go out at night (or, more correctly, he goes out before the lamp does).
His hands are busy texting his wife between meetings to remind her of his love (and check what groceries need fetching).
He is generous in his giving to the poor and is always ready to help a friend or stranger.
When it snows, he knows his family is safe (even though that skylight keeps leaking) and that every family member has brightly colored hats and mittens and coats (that they sometimes even wear inside since he's trying to keep the heating bills down).
He makes the bed when he was the last one out and buys his own clothes (like those brightly-colored striped socks and running shoes with toes).
His wife is considered blessed to have an attentive and respected husband. She goes out for a Mom's Night Out and realizes yet again how blessed she is.
He sews on missing buttons and helps his son sell Cub Scout popcorn.
He is clothed in strength and dignity (right down to those brightly-colored striped socks and running shoes with toes).
He makes people laugh.
But he also knows God's wisdom and speaks wise words. He is full of sound advice but also knows when to just listen.
He plays with the kids instead of playing video games.
His children run to meet him at the door when they hear his car in the driveway. Even his wife has been known to do this, and not just when she needs his listening ear after a rough day.
Many men are noble, but he is the one for me. Others chase charm and beauty, but my noble husband is a man after God's heart. He fears the Lord.
And so I praise him publicly. I love you, Husband!
Debridement
I'm a freelance medical writer, developing educational materials for pharmaceutical companies. My latest project is on wound healing, a new topic for me. As a queazy person, the images that accompany medical references on chronic wounds have been difficult to view. But the topic is interesting, and I always love learning something new. With this project, I've learned a new word: 'debridement'. Debridement is the excision of dead or infected tissue of the wound to promote healing. It's an important procedure. [And if you are strong-stomached, you can look up 'debridement' on Wikipedia and see a really gross picture. Note the part about the use of maggots for debridement. Ick, ick, ick.]
Anyway, as I continue my week of waiting before a biopsy, I see this waiting time is God's way of debriding my heart. He wants me to rely on Him, not on my self-sufficiency or control or will. He is surgically removing the necrotic and devitalized tissue to promote my healing, removing the rebellious corners of my heart so mine can be more like His.
Tear deeply, Lord. It hurts, but I want a heart like Yours. Give me strength to go through this and faith in your perfect plan.
Similar imagery is used in the Bible: the pruning of vines, the winnowing of grain, and the refining of precious metal.
A friend sent me this poem, copied from her devotional book two days ago:
"He sat by a fire of seven-fold heat,
As He watched by the precious ore,
And closer He bent with a searching gaze
As He heated it more and more.
He knew He had ore that could stand the test,
And he wanted the finest gold
To mould as a crown for the King to wear,
Set with gems with a price untold.
So He laid our gold in the burning fire,
Tho' we fain would have said Him "Nay,"
And He watched the dross that we had not seen,
And it melted and passed away.
And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,
But our eyes were so dim with tears,
We saw but the fire - not the Master's hand,
And questioned with anxious fears.
Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,
As it mirrored a Form above,
That bent o'er the fire, tho' unseen by us,
With a look of ineffable love.
Can we think that it pleases His loving heart
To cause us a moment's pain?
Ah, no! But He saw through the present cross
The bliss of eternal gain.
So He waited there with a watchful eye,
With a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,
Than was needed to make it pure."
Anyway, as I continue my week of waiting before a biopsy, I see this waiting time is God's way of debriding my heart. He wants me to rely on Him, not on my self-sufficiency or control or will. He is surgically removing the necrotic and devitalized tissue to promote my healing, removing the rebellious corners of my heart so mine can be more like His.
Tear deeply, Lord. It hurts, but I want a heart like Yours. Give me strength to go through this and faith in your perfect plan.
Similar imagery is used in the Bible: the pruning of vines, the winnowing of grain, and the refining of precious metal.
A friend sent me this poem, copied from her devotional book two days ago:
"He sat by a fire of seven-fold heat,
As He watched by the precious ore,
And closer He bent with a searching gaze
As He heated it more and more.
He knew He had ore that could stand the test,
And he wanted the finest gold
To mould as a crown for the King to wear,
Set with gems with a price untold.
So He laid our gold in the burning fire,
Tho' we fain would have said Him "Nay,"
And He watched the dross that we had not seen,
And it melted and passed away.
And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,
But our eyes were so dim with tears,
We saw but the fire - not the Master's hand,
And questioned with anxious fears.
Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,
As it mirrored a Form above,
That bent o'er the fire, tho' unseen by us,
With a look of ineffable love.
Can we think that it pleases His loving heart
To cause us a moment's pain?
Ah, no! But He saw through the present cross
The bliss of eternal gain.
So He waited there with a watchful eye,
With a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,
Than was needed to make it pure."
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Staring At Mortality
One week ago today, my doctor found a lump. Yup, I'm not even 40, I lead a healthy lifestyle, I do the monthly exams (okay, just sort of), etc. etc. So I was completely shocked. Yes, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer a mere two years ago, but not until her mid-60s.
The very next day, I went in for a mammogram and ultrasound. The radiologist reported to me that his findings were suspicious, so now I'm scheduled for a biopsy with a breast surgeon. (I didn't even know there was such a specialty!)
AND now I have a whole week to sit here and worry.
And worry I have done. But I'm also fighting my worry. I have just finished a year of the biggest stressor in my life, and I have learned all sorts of unforgettable lessons about God's faithfulness and care. I have seen firsthand that He answers prayer above and beyond our wildest hopes and expectations. I have learned to rely on Him as my refuge and strength in the face of devastation. In fact, just days before my doctor's shocking find, I had said to my two prayer buddies, "This lesson will be a Standing Stone throughout my life. I will never forget what I have learned about God's amazing care and faithfulness, and I will never doubt again. If He could get me through THAT, then He can get me through anything."
Me and my big mouth? Possibly He was using that circumstance to prepare me for something else big -- a close look at my own mortality. Even if the lump comes to nothing, I am being forced to again prove my allegiance to Him during this week of waiting for further news.
Lord, my allegiance IS with You. Please help me fight my anxieties and fears. Help me to rest in You, knowing that Your grace is sufficient for all my needs. I wait on You, as the watchmen wait for the dawn. Help me loosen my grasp on this world, even on my own family. My love for them and desire to care for them is nothing compared to Your love for them and ability to care for them. I trust in You.
I have also prayed over and over again these past few days that I might more fully feel His presence. And He answers prayer. I have felt an outpouring of love from the close friends who know what's going on. An kind email full of thoughtfully chosen Bible verses. A phone call offering encouragement and practical information. A surprise visit with a hug, a prayer, and a Bible passage specially marked just for me. An offer to accompany me to the doctor appointment. And the most heartfelt prayer time I've ever shared with my own mother. These women are speaking with God's words and hugging with God's arms and praying the thoughts on His mind. God's goodness makes me cry even more than my own mortality does. I am blessed beyond belief with the wise and godly women who surround and uplift me and the God who put them in my life.
On a lighter note, it's funny how everything reminds me of breast cancer. Like using a knife to remove all those eyes from the potatoes I was preparing for dinner. Lumpectomy? I was more careful than usual to excise as little healthy potato tissue as possible.
And I'm wondering how God will bless me this time beyond my wildest imaginings and thinking how great it would be to end up not only cancer-free but with really big boobs.
Just throwing the idea out there, God!
The very next day, I went in for a mammogram and ultrasound. The radiologist reported to me that his findings were suspicious, so now I'm scheduled for a biopsy with a breast surgeon. (I didn't even know there was such a specialty!)
AND now I have a whole week to sit here and worry.
And worry I have done. But I'm also fighting my worry. I have just finished a year of the biggest stressor in my life, and I have learned all sorts of unforgettable lessons about God's faithfulness and care. I have seen firsthand that He answers prayer above and beyond our wildest hopes and expectations. I have learned to rely on Him as my refuge and strength in the face of devastation. In fact, just days before my doctor's shocking find, I had said to my two prayer buddies, "This lesson will be a Standing Stone throughout my life. I will never forget what I have learned about God's amazing care and faithfulness, and I will never doubt again. If He could get me through THAT, then He can get me through anything."
Me and my big mouth? Possibly He was using that circumstance to prepare me for something else big -- a close look at my own mortality. Even if the lump comes to nothing, I am being forced to again prove my allegiance to Him during this week of waiting for further news.
Lord, my allegiance IS with You. Please help me fight my anxieties and fears. Help me to rest in You, knowing that Your grace is sufficient for all my needs. I wait on You, as the watchmen wait for the dawn. Help me loosen my grasp on this world, even on my own family. My love for them and desire to care for them is nothing compared to Your love for them and ability to care for them. I trust in You.
I have also prayed over and over again these past few days that I might more fully feel His presence. And He answers prayer. I have felt an outpouring of love from the close friends who know what's going on. An kind email full of thoughtfully chosen Bible verses. A phone call offering encouragement and practical information. A surprise visit with a hug, a prayer, and a Bible passage specially marked just for me. An offer to accompany me to the doctor appointment. And the most heartfelt prayer time I've ever shared with my own mother. These women are speaking with God's words and hugging with God's arms and praying the thoughts on His mind. God's goodness makes me cry even more than my own mortality does. I am blessed beyond belief with the wise and godly women who surround and uplift me and the God who put them in my life.
On a lighter note, it's funny how everything reminds me of breast cancer. Like using a knife to remove all those eyes from the potatoes I was preparing for dinner. Lumpectomy? I was more careful than usual to excise as little healthy potato tissue as possible.
And I'm wondering how God will bless me this time beyond my wildest imaginings and thinking how great it would be to end up not only cancer-free but with really big boobs.
Just throwing the idea out there, God!
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